The dangers of dating your boss

For instance, you might notice that your boss always asks about your plan for ensuring the monthly mailing doesn’t get delayed, or how you’re covering X and Y while people are out for the holidays. When your manager assigns you work, repeat back the assignment to her – including your understanding of the outcome she’s looking for, the deadline, and any constraints. If you’re an email person and she prefers talking in person, guess what? You won’t get anywhere sending long emails to a boss who wants to hash things out face-to-face – and similarly, if your boss favors email, you’ll annoy her if you keep showing up in her doorway to talk. If you’re frustrated about something, raise it, talk about the impact, and discuss what could be done differently in the future. There are going to be times when you have a different point of view than your manager.

If you learn to anticipate those things in advance and address them before she has to ask, you’ll be every manager’s dream. For instance, you might say, “So it sounds like we’re looking for a vendor who can get us faster turnaround times, without going up significantly in price, and we need some options by July 10.” You might feel silly at first, but often simply repeating back your understanding of the assignment can stop miscommunications before they start. Sure, you could just bring your boss a problem and say, “What should I do about X? If a project didn’t go as well as it could have, bring it up before your boss has to. Inevitably, there will be things about your job or your boss that frustrate you and which you can’t change or control. Pay attention to how she communicates, and mirror that back. Of course, be smart about this: Have this conversation at a time when your boss isn’t swamped or frazzled, and think about your delivery ahead of time, just as you would want her to do if she were raising something sensitive with you. In these cases, you should advocate for what you believe, and if you think your boss is making a mistake, part of your job is to explain why.

Narcissists have a great deal of resistance to change, basically because they cannot see a need for changing perfection.

Narcissism is the epitome of insight-free self-centeredness.

Is it possible that our pursuit of romantic love is actually preventing us from forming a lifelong pair bond?

Sugar substitutes and alternatives have shown themselves everywhere – from the notorious Aspartame to Saccharin and Sucralose.

By the time you’re done, you’ll know more about stevia side effects, benefits and overall safety than 99.99% of doctors worldwide. *** If you’re an avid reader here, you must already know that disease and dark dangers lurk beneath the pearly whiteness of sugar.

Too much of it makes you moody, fat and eventually sick and diabetic.

And from there, stay engaged by checking in with her on an ongoing basis, offering updates, and giving her chances for input. ” But you’ll make it easier for both of you if you say, “Here’s the situation with X. Start a conversation with “In retrospect, I wish I had ___” or “Next time, I’m going to ___.” Your boss will be impressed that you’re thinking this way – plus you’ll be doing part of her job for her. Rather than focusing on things that you can’t do much about (like a manager who regularly cancels your weekly meeting), think about what you do (such as saying, “I know you’re really busy, but can I talk to your assistant and get 10 minutes on your calendar? But if your boss ultimately picks a different route or sticks to her different opinion, it’s helpful to have reasonably thick skin. Listen to feedback with an open mind, and don’t get defensive.

I’ve thought about A, B, and C, and I think we should do C because ___. Don’t take things personally, and keep your ego out of it. It’s fine to disagree, but do it in a non-defensive way. The way I was looking at it was ___.” And remember, you’re not in a courtroom and your manager isn’t looking to you to defend yourself. Your boss is human, so there may be times when she is grumpy, frustrated, or stressed out, or when she would appreciate hearing that she handled something well. Stay on top of things, ensure your boss only has to tell you something once, don’t let things fall through the cracks, and generally be someone she can rely on.

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